Monday, March 29, 2010

Toss out the Nazi rat Pope!

Awww nothing makes me happier than to see the Catholic Church exposed for the racket it is! You see the church has had a bad run this month, first the homophobic institution was caught up in a gay male prostitution scandal, then one-time Hitler Youth member Pope Benedict XVI himself, then known as Cardinal Joseph RATzinger, was discovered to have protected a pedophile priest in Wisconsin who may have molested over 200 deaf boys, and now the child molestation scandals are spreading to Ireland, Germany, Austria and beyond.

The Pope is doubling-down, if you will, by dismissing the scandals as nothing more than "petty gossip". Well good luck with that, your ass-holiness! There are now calls on you to resign and your approval ratings are dropping faster than an altar boy's gown in a confessional!

As a former Catholic, I agree the rat pope should be thrown out on his ass and the whole church investigated and prosecuted the same way we do the mafia! But if nothing changes (as is likely) perhaps this is the only way to protect kids in Catholic churches:

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

wow! is dis bitch serious?

“calling all tea party people across the United States ‘tea baggers,’ which is a denigrating word with negative connotations... It’s as bad as calling a black person the N-word.”
so says Debbie Gunnoe, a tea party organizer from Navarre, Fla.


I don't even know where to begin, for one, you aren't born a Teabagger, like a black person is born black. Secondly it's nothing but a sly nickname for members of an absurd, disingenuous movement, kinda like labeling people "Birthers" and "Truthers". I say disingenuous, because why is it that these people are so concerned now with the national debt? Where was this movement during the Bush administration? While we are at it, who famously said "deficits don't matter"? Yup, former VP Dick Cheney. WHERE WERE THESE PEOPLE THEN? I'm sorry but it's way too convenient for them to start screaming about the debt soon after President Obama took office, considering he inherited the Great Recession from George W. Bush and needed the Stimulus to bring the economy back from the brink.

Also Ms. Gunnoe, Teabaggers themselves did use the "N-word" as well as called Barney Frank a "faggot" this past weekend, so how can you exactly claim the high ground here? You cannot. Lastly, I know the Teabaggers are god-fearing, seeing how the second of Glenn Beck's 9 Principles of his "9/12 Project", the commandments of the Teabagger set you could say, is "I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life", so when it comes to heath care I ask of them: What Would Jesus Do? From what I've heard he was a pretty generous fellow, one who wanted to care for the poor and downtrodden, so I doubt he'd treat very sick people like this:

So ok Debbie, I won't call you a Teabagger, how about I just refer to you guys as what you truly are: racists, homophobes, phony Christians, but most of all: H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E-S!!! There! That better?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

ZOMG! The Death Panels are open for business!

Today the House passed a half-assed Health Care Reform bill, a supposed "government takeover" of the health care system that is err, neither a single-payer system or even one with a public-option, but whatever, don't let the facts cloud the issue! It's the end of the world as we know it! Take a look at some of the apocalyptic messages at one of my favorite right-wing nutjob websites, Hot Air, the demon spawn of the one-and-only Child-Stalkin' Michelle Malkin:

How long before we have to report to the internment camps?

sandee on March 21, 2010 at 10:48 PM

So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.

Pcoop on March 21, 2010 at 10:52 PM

I feel sick. I would say Palin is now a shoo-in for 2012 but I don’t know if we’ll even have a country left by then.

Ryan Anthony on March 21, 2010 at 10:56 PM

The National Debt Meter just exploded.

The Doomsday clock just jumped past midnight.

Code Red.


portlandon on March 21, 2010 at 11:08 PM

The democrats have signed their own death warrant and the House has become the hearse of democracy. This is worse than the attack on America at Pearl Harbor whick was by our external enemies. This strike at the heart of America is by our own government. I never thought I would live to see this day, and I am disgusted and depressed.

Dhuka on March 21, 2010 at 11:09 PM

Can you believe these fucking idiots? They do nothing but sit in their trailer parks all day, gorging on ice cream bought at China's favorite retailer Wal-Mart, listening to limp-dick Rush Limbaugh and crybaby-shock-jock Glenn Beck blather on and on and nodding their empty heads at every lie they spew. Now they are seriously mourning the "Death of America" brought upon by Fuhrer Obama, no doubt stocking up on ammo and readying their Sunday-best for the upcoming Rapture. Un-fucking-real!

I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict the sun will still rise tomorrow, call me crazy, but I'll go on record with that....

Friday, March 19, 2010

My Top 10 most-played iTunes tracks....

of all time:

1. "Hurt" Johnny Cash
2. "Paint it Black" The Rolling Stones
3. "Extreme Ways" Moby
4. "California Dreamin'" The Mamas & The Papas
5. "God Only Knows" The Beach Boys
6. "In My Life" The Beatles
7. "Time Is Running Out" Muse
8. "What I've Done" Linkin Park
9. "A Rush of Blood to the Head" Coldplay
10. "Rape Me" Nirvana

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My 2010 Final Four Predictions

Congrats to my alma mater SDSU Aztecs for winning the Mountain West Conference tournament! As much as I'd love to see them make it to the Final 4, it just ain't gonna happen- they are in too tough a bracket. So I'm going with Kansas, Kansas St., Kentucky and Duke with Kansas over Kentucky in the title game. I am least optimistic that Duke will make it to the Final 4 but I sure do hope they do, cuz that'll mean more hours watching hot ass Jon Scheyer (below), yum!
anyways, GO AZTECS!

Friday, March 12, 2010

my own Drunken Hookup Failure!

In honor of Deadspin's series on Drunken Hookup Failures, I thought I would enlighten you guys with one (out of many!) of my own, which happened just last Summer, so here we go (NOTE: not for the easily offended!):

OK, so I meet this guy online and we agree to meet at a local gay bar. We've been talking for awhile, he's Mexican, in his mid-20's, kinda short and while he's not really my type he's cute enough and seems like a cool guy. So we have some drinks and hang out for awhile and he suggests we go back to his place. I'm like ok, so we go back to his apartment, where it turns out he lives with his Grandma, who's lounging on the couch in the family room in her robe watching TV.  Well if you know anything about Mexican Grandmas (I had 2), they are a notoriously tough bunch, and as soon as I walk in the apartment she gives me the evil eye! I know that eye well! The guy tells Granny to go to her room and she does, but not before giving me a scowl and that evil eye once again.  I excuse myself to go take a piss and when I turn on the bathroom light I see roaches scatter! Ugh that bathroom was so fucking nasty!   I put the seat up w/ my foot and piss, then get the hell out of there and back to the family room.   The guy doesn't have a room of his own so he has rolled out the sofa bed and we lay down.  We start to make out and I notice his hygiene isn't all great, which I can understand a little cuz it was 100 degrees that day and that night was hot as hell too, but, shit, homeboy stunk!  But I'm drunk and horny enough so I go along with it.   So we are making out, clothes start to come off and he's fully erect, but it's taking me awhile to get there cuz I'm a lil grossed out by the roaches and hygiene, but I finally get hard and grab my bag to get a condom when I hear a noise in the hallway!  OMG I thought, Grandma is watching us!  I grab a sheet and cover myself and tell him to go check the hallway. He does, and no one is there, but I'm positive it was a door I heard!   Anyways, when he comes back to the sofabed, I am no longer erect!  The Grandma in the hallway, imagined or not, was the third strike after the roaches and hygiene, and my dick is limp as fuck!  He tries sucking on it and playing with my balls for awhile, but nothing!   It won't budge!  He asks "Is it me?"  I'm like, of course not, it must be all the booze I had, uh, yeah, that's it, the booze!  So that was that.  He tells me let's just go to sleep. I want to leave but I'm still too buzzed to drive all the way home, so I pretend I'm asleep for about 4 hours, holding in my pee and listening for Grandma in the hallway!  I snuck out at about 5:30 in the morning, humiliated and hungover and never heard from the guy again.....

Hookup FAIL!

Monday, March 8, 2010


ok I get why everyone loves Sandra Bullock, she's sweet and cute and a big moneymaker. But to win Best Actress over the best actress of all time, Meryl Streep? For a Hallmarky Movie-of-the-Weekish shit film like "The Blind Side" that was made just so white Christians can feel so proud that one of them actually did good for one of the less fortunate, rather than shitting on the poor and downtrodden that most of them do... yes I'm pointing at you, Teabaggers!

Congrats to Sandra anyways, for winning an Oscar for essentially doing the same scene over and over: go yell at football coach/country club gals/gangsters, whip them into shape and walk away in a tight-ass skirt!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

2010 Oscar Predictions

Ready or not, here they are:

BEST DIRECTOR: Kathryn Bigelow, 'The Hurt Locker'
BEST ACTOR: Jeff Bridges, 'Crazy Heart'
BEST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock, 'The Blind Side'
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christoph Waltz, 'Inglourious Basterds'
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Quentin Tarantino, 'Inglourious Basterds'
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, 'Up in the Air'
BEST EDITING: 'The Hurt Locker'
BEST FOREIGN FILM: 'The White Ribbon'
BEST ORIGINAL SONG: "The Weary Kind" from 'Crazy Heart'

Reaction coming on Monday...
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